My Restaurant
I'm thinking about opening up a restaurant where the food served is not necessarily what you want, but what you need. We would have a trained staff of culinary artists, but also psychologists, physicians & nutritionists. People will have to sign a form giving up their Civil Rights before dining. Our decisions are binding.
For example. The local vegan, who lives a joyless Puritan life of flavorless and uncooked food, is in for a big surprise. The dining room will be dark until they sit down. Suddenly the lights & music come on and an entire Mariachi band will be there shouting "Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Areba! Areba!" A delicious meal of beef enchiladas smothered in chili con carne will be placed before them.
They have to eat it. If they don't, there will be consequences. You don't want to know what those are.
A finicky but portly lady who is afraid of "weird food" will have a different experience. The lights come on and instead it is plinky-planky traditional Japanese music.
"Oh no thank you. I don't fish."
"食べる! 食べる! Eatu!" The staff won't speak English, but I'm sure they can pantomime this.
If she refuses to eat and have the dining experience the cooking staff will commit seppuku and it will be her fault.
I'm sure that my restaurant, which I think I'll call Judgements, will be the next big trendy spot.
A Visual Guide to La Roux
Electronic music sensation, La Roux is heating up the charts. Obviously a fan of their parents' Yaz albums, this hot duo, consisting of human automaton Elly Jackson and some other guy, are definitely not going to be a "one-hit-wonder" and are here to stay.
Not since Janice Jackson or Billy Holiday has a singer given such a impassioned stage performance. It is very clear that Elly Jackson gives her heart and soul on stage. Although her performances are slightly more nuanced than those previously mentioned singers. Here is a chart to help you better understand Ms. Jackson's visual style.
DANGER THURSDAY, August 26th, 2010.
The next big thing. Each Thursday, DANGER THURSDAY, I will be posting up these helpful signs.
Willy Wonker, Robber Baron.
It has always been said that Wonka's competitors, such as Slugworth, used extensive industrial espionage as a way of competing with Willy Wonka. So paranoid was Wonka of this, he shut down the factory, and fired all the workers, lest they spy on him and give away his secrets. This effectively killed the surrounding town and immigrant Oompa Loompa scab labor took the existing factory jobs. This would be similar to shutting down company town, Hershey, PA, at the height of Milton Snavely Hershey's chocolate empire, and having the factory run by orange-skinned, green-haired dwarves.
Oompa Loompas were immigrants from Loompaland, and they were desperate for work. Confused about Western ideas on monetary compensation, Wonka didn't even pay them in money, but in food and shelter. This is similar to the so-called Coyotes who prey on illegal Mexican and Central American immigrants. Wonka gives the story that the Oompa Loompas were “rescued” from Loompaland, but I think all evidence shows he was looking for cheap labor. They were never allowed to leave the factory alive. Wonka's madness and contempt for factory works also included using trained squirrels to find “bad nuts.” See Salt v. Wonka U.S. 225 (1971), one of the only successful lawsuits against Wonka.
Much like fellow industrialists Henry Ford and George Pullman, Wonka had a vision of morality that he wanted to impose on the world. Henry Ford insisted his employees in his company towns be the exemplars of old-fashioned values,. To this end he sponsored square dancing, and other things he thought “just plain folks” would be interested in. Wonka, a technical innovator, ironically hated modernity --such as television-- and wanted people to eschew luxuries he produced and instead, “read a good book.”
Wonka clearly had a double-standard for many of his products. An early pioneer in television, confections, and gum, he hated users of his products that displayed too much enthusiasm. Wonka lived a life of complete freedom and indulgence, but despised this behavior mirrored in anyone else. To this end he developed a sick and cruel “contest” to punish children who loved his products. The attitude is, restraint and frugality for thee, not for me.
Slugworth was later revealed to be an employee of Wonka, and the whole story of paranoia over industrial spying falls flat. Wonka fired Charlie Bucket's family, not out of worry that they were “stealing” from him, but he knew he could get lower wages out of Oompa Loompas. Later, he had no compunctions about destroying the Bucket house and whisking away retirees even as they protested..
Like the Robber Barons before him, Wonka treated people like they were machines, mere cogs in his chocolate machine.